Video from a reading
BOOK COVER FOR "TARGET IN THE HEAD POEMS," Pen and Ink drawing entitled "HE & SHE..." App. 1982 - 3, by me.
POETRY.....
These poems were written between 1980 and 87. I was in my twenties... I first published them
as a chapbook entitled; "TARGET IN THE HEAD POEMS," in 87 and have been actively reading them
since 1981... I have had the pleasure to perform with many great poets, some famous; John Giorno, Lydia Lunch, Exene Cervanka and many not... but many great and wonderful people... I love to perform my work. I know how to read them, for me it is like playing a piece of music.... dynamics are an important part of the work when performing.... and I must admit that when I saw Peter Orlovsky perform "GOOD FUCK DENISE," in 1980.. it opened me up to some possibilities... I was also influenced by my poetry teacher in school... the brilliant Ron Tanaka and everything I ever read. Having lived on the US West Coast for most of my life, I was greatly influenced by the BEATS... meeting and becoming friends with the wonderful and talented Victor Wong, who was friends with Kerouac, a chapter about him in BIG SUR, a great film actor and all around magic human, was a rare treat.... Eastern philosophy, punk rock & jazz and any great music or artform have always been big influences in my life...
I am very opinionated and fortunately not so eager to share my thoughts... if you are interested, just ask. So I hope that you will keep in mind that these were written by a person in his 20's, they are the classic angst ridden youth who wants to change the world, (YESTERDAY), but is somewhat at a loss of how to make it happen... but searching... I think that the works have held up over the time and for me that is the test of any truly great art....
Having a sense of humor is also important.
TARGET IN THE HEAD POEMS
by steven vanoni
Target in the head. Copyright © 1987
All art is by the author
All rights reserved. For further info.
Write: [email protected]
TABLE OF CONTENTS
There’s always somebody……………………………………………1
Sittin on john, I realized……………………………………………...1
Billy…………………………………………………………………..2
The party……………………………………………………………...2
Jump…………………………………………………………………..3
Hait poem……………………………………………………………..5
30-1-7-87……………………………………………………………..6
four bux……………………………………………………………….7
1960…………………………………………………………………...8
shit detail……………………………………………………………...8
__________________.........................................................................9
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_
there’s many………………………………………………………….10
that nite……………………………………………………………….11
subway………………………………………………………………..13
the skweez…………………………………………………………….14
punch line……………………………………………………………..15
the greek lady in the black dress………………………………………16
how 2 be famous………………………………………………………19
the bar………………………………………………………………….20
things…………………………………………………………………..21
the big gun theory……………………………………………………..22
was…………………………………………………………………….23
ate ball…………………………………………………………………24
4 babies………………………………………………………………..25
love poem……………………………………………………………...28
tooth acheing………………………………………………………….28
“ “…………………………………………………………….29
numberz……………………………………………………………….31
THERE’S ALWAYS SOMEBODY
ON the phone the other end
waiting to use one
fucking fighting diein or
getting born torn from a mother’s womb
and wearin out the tunes
somebody scorin drugs shootin smoking
or sellin em
gunnin down people animals or
even themselves
bodies walking talking redneckin kissin
writin shittin pukin pissin
getting enlightened tho rarely so
There’s always somebody
Blinkin eyes and unheard cries
Flyin planes and goin insane
Drivin cars and eating sleepin dreaming
Somebody waiting waiting STOP.
For something nothing everything
There’s always somebody
SITTIN ON JOHN, I REALIZED
If people treated other people
As tenderly as when they wiped
Thare asswholes
There would be no mor wars
No starvation no communication problems
No car accidents no prank calls
No murderz no rapes
No theevz no asswholes
No assassins
If people treated other peepholes
As tenderly as when they wipe
Their asswholes
It would be another whirled
BILLY
lived in a shack
surrounded by trees
he was a small chubby white haired man
about 65 or so
the hole town of Keyport
thot he was crazy
A couple of us kids
went by his house
and cleaned it up for him
it was a small shack
with a wood burnin stove
that stunk the hole place up badly
leaving a thik coating of soot
all over the walls
He didn’t have
a TV a phone or a radio
the cats lived all around his house
along with a couple inside
I remember seein him
out on the side of the road
5, 10 miles out a town
walkin in th pourin rain
carryin his bag of soaken wet groceries
I’d pick him up and drop him home
He’d thank me
and give me a handful of stale cashews
I always wondered what happened to him
THE PARTY
Some girls stole a painting…
this guy told me I was a brilliant
mind and genius…
I drank too much and puked…
The electricity went off
and I couldn’t get it back on…
The cops came by
and told me the PARTY was over.
JUMP
into the fast lane WHOOOPZ!!
traffic jam…
someone gets right up on my ass
other cars slide in front
Auburn Boulevard
Watt
goin to Lodi
El Camino Arden
99 South
A solid city of wheels
70.. 75…
crossin over the river
the smoke rises from
last night’s arson
that burned so many flowers
I can’t count
OH SHIT…CHP!!
slow down down
South 99 Fresno
Lodi forty miles
so if I go 80 all the way
I’ll be there in twenty minutes
the fast lanes clear so
I jump into it and
get the hell out a here
hedin South with the taste
a brown water and tobacco on tung
South 80
goin 80
look a horse a hundred cows
waitin around for the butcher to arrive
get out a the fast lane ASSWHOLE!!
some people think it’s fashionable
2 ride in the fast lane at slow speeds
I like to get right up on their ass
and if they still don’t move
go around em and flip em off
chek the mirrors..no cops..looks allright
except for a dark car way bak there
we all got targets in our heds
Woodbridge road
that’s me exit.
hait poem
I hait distractions &
stupidity…
I hate people who drive
by and yell shit at me
on the streets
like the time when
I was standing at this
intersection , downtown
waiting for the light
to change
and these two sides of beef
drive by in this truck
intense traffic, twelve noon
and this one jerk yells out
“YOU FURRY MOTHERFUCKER!!”
I hate bullitz bombs
and bein broke
competitions the KKK
stupid bigots
myself quite often
hittin your funny boan or
steppin in dog shit
trying to right a poam
when you gots plenty of perspiration
but not so much inspiration
hate inhumanity
the hardness of this rock
war, and the deluge of
useless information
end the same shit
the same way it’s always been;
hangovers hedaches
diarrhea and indigestion,
all at the same time
or individually
and my cars fucked up
my girlfriend just left me
the bill collectors want
to hang me
and the cops are poundin
on the door
but the thing I most hate about hating
is just plain hate
30-1-7-87
It is quiet again at Stucco
half moon 87
they took my train set away…
gone forever
the vision of Giorgio
the Odalisque reclining
the green old Italian sky
smoke rising from the locomotive
the wimen gone
the raving lunatic gone
drooling runs down the streets
of Sacramento
that blessed curse loved hated
city hart of flatlands
we stir the bed of coal
looking ready to build the next flame
and again the siren
the siren screams quietly again
at Stucco
a fool half moon.
FOUR BUCKS
Got 4 bucks to spend;
what’s the most intense
thing I can do with 4 bucks?
4 dollars worth a regular
4 maltoff cocktails;
maybe a hit or two of windowpain…
a quart of ta-kill-ya
or perhaps
a vary cheep ugly midget nun whore
would be nice
could send off to become a card
holdin member of the American Nazi Party
or get four hundred pennies
and drop em off the top
of the Empire State Building
thunderin down on top of four hundred
innocent ped heds
enlightening them
with one crak of the coin
Then again I could buy a couple cans
of cheap ass spray paint and
give a few museum pieces some much needed touch ups
or cram the four bux down my own throat
and take the whole world out at once
ofcourse there’s always bullets bombs
and razor blades
but me
I’ve always been kind of a
hedonist at hed hart and other areas
so I go 4 the none
1960
Tijuana three years old
the blue interior smell of
my grandfather’s car
in the backseat with my
grandmother mother and sister
they bought these little wooden pigs
their eyes and tails wiggled around
and we couldn’t figure out why
there was a small cork
on the bottom
so they pulled it out
I was very short then
so I had a good view
of there legs
kiking and screaming
when the huge horseflys
flew out buzzin down
around their ankils
shit detail
2 dae was pickin up turds
with a shovel
trying 2 see how many pieces
I could fit in one scoop
lotsa turds hear
old ones fresh ones big ones
flat ones small ones
brown black sienna and wite
little tootsie rolls
gettin nibbled on
by some potatoe bugs
and a snail
I sing from out of this wherehaus
unheard on the railroad
where a security gard
stuk a sawed off shotgun
in our faces
the railroad silver lit
when the sky burns red
parallel lines
carved across a continent
that I wok on on hot daze
bear feet hot steel
and the cars don’t come down
the tracks much these daze
once a week maybe
the railroad
where Neil boy lay down and
fell asleep somewhere
down near Mexicali
the railroad where many times late at night
maybe 130 or 230 alone
I’ve cot the sweepin cry
under a fool moon the railroad
where 130 years ago Chinese flesh
laid the silver line
over hi mountain
4 a few rice and bean
the rail road
where they still hop a train
and ride to wherever it is
they go far down
the tie studded trak
far past the Oriental Express
the spy movies the cowboys and injunz
beyond the twilight zoan
and the war movies and
all the heroes and bad guys
and the farmers deliverin
piggy to market
way down the trax
near 20th and K Street
where I get stuk waitin
for a monstrous centipede
TONS OF STEEL
to roll on by flattenin pennies
as it slides
I like to chek out the graffiti
on the sides of the cars
and count the hobos
and ofcourse
wave to the guy
on the caboose
disappearing into the tunnel
there’s many GIRLS BOYS QUESTIONS
FLYING SAUCERS STREETS NOSES SOUNDS
WEIRD THINGS TIMES FEELING MACHINES
REASONS WHIRLDZ ANSWERS BATHROOMS
BIRTHS THOTZ COUNTRIES CLICHES RIVERS
SONGS DETHZ SMELLS INSULTS MURDERERZ
POAMZ CRAZED PEOPLEZ WARS COMPLIMENTS
THEEVZ
thares many
ANIMALS GENIUSES FOODZ CURVING ROADS
MOON RISES TASTES EXITZ STOP LITES
SOFT BODEEZ ROOMS HARTZ MINDZ PLANETZ
i will never no.
THAT NITE
her car drove by wile I sat on the sidewalk
sippin on a smoke and a cup of coffee
just thinking about her
and how she was such a nice one
we were collaborators
in the ancient art of “FUK”
she was reel good
and I wanted more
but didn’t necessarily need it
she drove by and turned right at the corner
thot she might circle round and
come back for a while
and if I was reel talented
who knows maybe she’d kidnap me
watched her for years
but never tried touchin her
till that nite
she offered me a ride home
and I said why not take me to yours
OK.. Okay..
but just for a little while
Then I’ll take you back to yours
SURE..GREAT… whatever
so we went to her place
and had a couple drinx
then we layed down to watch some TVee
so sweet
read lipz.. hot likity fire stix
Couldn’t hold back any longer….
but anyways
she didn’t circle round.
subway
My first time on the subway
in four years and
I remember how badlee a
good joke is needed…
It smells of shit and deth
down here
old shit and piss
I remember hearing Ginsberg
read about the tons of shit
that pours out into the Hudson
Well waitin 4 the subways sometimes
I think it must’ve take a detour
for a few moments
maybe to keep us awake
between the rides
waitin for the train
the rats come out
to look for food
hoppin around down on the trax
or darting quickly from
can to can
waiting for the train
to take us down
the deep hole in the wall
a couple drops of bright red
lay warm on the concrete
Years later all us sonambulists
trance a dance aboard
and sit or hang
like sides of beef
holding tightly
to our panic buttons
beneath the unfeeling façade of flesh
KA..POK…ET..A…
POK…ETA….
OK..ETA…
SSSQQQQEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKK….
SSSSSSQQQQQEEEEEAAAAAAAKKKKKKK…
JJJEEERRRKKK
JJJJEEEEEERRRRRRRKKKKK..
KIRK
I jump out at NASSAU
and arrive home in time
for SCOTTY to beam me
aboard the ENTERPRISE.
The Skweez
There’s something about squeezing tomatoes
that’s different than squeezing
a butt or some melons
some breasts
a twinkie
or a pimple.
There’s something about squeezing tomatoes
that’s different than squeezing
water from rox
a meel from a buk
paint out a tube or
shit our yor ass
There’s something about squeezin tomatoes
that’s different than squeezing
meaning in2 yor life
a trigger or a last breth
different that skweezing
a trillion people on a planet or
a bunch a words onto
a small scrap a paper
There’s something about squeezing tomatoes..
PUNCH line
We all need a good punch line
sometimes
to help make it threw the day
the trouble iz
most of the jokes I hear
are dirty
and I never could remember them
anyways
You know
typical cliché rendition
on old themes
like how many armadillos
does it take to eat a lite bulb
or
knok KNOK…
Whose thair?
the farmer’s dotter
and the farmers waitin
for you to try to touch her
and if you do
you’ll have to do strange things
with a SHOTGUN A WATERMELON
A PINEAPPLE AN EGG CRÈME
OR A KNISH
depending
on what part of the country
your’e from
and if Your’e a
traveling salesman or a
jew or a wop or a nigger
a punker or a polelok
and there’s tons of sik joax
for all the bigots
under the sun
you know like
ded baby jokes leprosy jokes
amputee jokes fag jokes
and absurd joaks to
like “Pass the milk pleez;
what do you think I am your TV!”
and political joax 2
like a country that has a
movie star 4 a President
The Greek lady in the black dress
She wore it every day I lived thare
4 four yearz we waved at each other
smiling nodding saying hello
I often wondered if it was the
same dress or if she had a whole
closet filled with em
but everyday she’d be out there
across the street raking the leaves
or going to the other Greek families
house to eat to sing to hug babies
or just to be plain Greek
and every day she’d be out thare
in her blak dress
I hurd that it was a custom
for a Greek daughter to wear a
black dress for a year
after her father’s death
I saw her the other day
after six years
she was still wearin that
blak deth dress
in the summer
the winter
the spring and
the fall
she was the
Greek lady in the black dress.
HOW 2 BE FAMOUS
People are made famous by
who they fuck
People are made famous by
how much bux they have
by having a style of their own
by chasing balls around
by the roll of a die
People are made famous by
busting their asswholes
by seein something
and putting it down
People are made famous by
the deal of a hand
by who your daddy is
by bein in the right place
People are made famous by
killin someone else whose famous
People are made famous by
being extremely ugly or beautiful
by making other people
laff cry remember forget
by sayin the right things
People are made famous by
building weapons that kill
more cleaner quicker
People are made famous by
saving other people
by robbin banx
by bein in the right time
for being monsters or gods
because of their bodies
their brains
People are made famous by
being with the right people
for being extremely human or unhuman
People are made famous
by chance and by plan
People are made famous
and then they die.
THE BAR
but really about the bars…
it goes way back there
in the back of the bar
the back of the bar
to the right
on the other side of the jukebox
watch out tho because they have
the girls and boys signs
switched to confuse you
and down in the bar
in the bar down the steps
the dark dark bar
wear the boys and girls dance
and fall down sometimes
on the flashin disco floors
down in the bars
where my father hung out
with all the other sailors
I sat waiting for her to come out
out of the bar the bar bar
that buteful face that disappeared
over the levee down river
never to return again
down in the bar the bar
marches the gallery of peepholes
a parade of faces
drinkin the juices and
dance the romance
the bar the bar the bar bar bar
timeless bars pubs clubs taverns inns
lounges gay bars lesbian bars redneck
bars sand bars bikers state workers
cowboys hippies and farmers
new wavers punkers and rockers
the bars the bars the bars bars bars
all keep their clox
set ten minutes fast
THINGS
I’d like to fotograff all the wimen
driving their cars around
with the dresses
hangin out the bottom of the door
The back of 100 people’s heads
How your brain thinks
Paul the leprechaun Neanderthal man
pushin his cart down the street
screeeeemin 4 ham with a bottle of Burgie
and his blaster tuned into Eleanor Rigby
living room settings in the alley ways
TV’s Couches and Chairs
The day the flying saucers arrive
The day when there is no hunger
in the world
No homeless people
but that might be the day after
and I don’t have a camera.
--------------------------------------------
I heart new york city of fear
the truly wise man does not allow deth
to enter his door
I vow to cover my ass wile I’m here
ripping a hole in the seat of my pants
when rising to catch the double L
-------------------------------------------
Eyes only bout 12
was runnin along
and felt something
warm and wet
slide down ma leg
wite
and bird shit
felt kinda nice tho
but when thinkin on
what it was
BIRD SHIT
wiped the ankl.
THE BIG GUN THEORY
the GUN is big
the man small
bullrings are still popular here
where images of BEING
are getting zapped way out there….
Bombs are exploding
and can be seen for quite a waze too..
NINETEEN EIGHTY FOUR is a few daze off
and we still haven’t
made any communication
with any other whirldz
and why would they want to
with all the stupidity and destruction
getting created around here
how can we expect nations to get along
when the peepholes who live in them don’t
the GUN is big
the man small
There’s enuf food here for everybody
but not enuf brains harts and guts
to put it together
we know how to split atoms
but we don’t know how to feed people
the arsenals are overfed
wile the flesh gets thin
We could SOAR like Gods
instead of trying to learn
more ways of making them
on each others bodies
and give all the guts guns and gold
to the archaeologists
to fill the war museums with
but that might take some thinking
and that’s the most dangerous crime
against the government
WAS
in luv with her 4 a lifetime
hur brain
th way shee said
th rite theengs
at th rite time
in the rite way
her thighs
loved her face
hangin out a car window
or flashin by in a bus
love her
blew green blak and sienna eyes
her short tall slanky slenderness
for an evening or just a glimpse
I love her
yellow dark and lited flesh
painted or without
love her breasts
small large roundd woman
her hips her lipsss….
her moles her holes
brown blonde black
green red and purple hair
2 her waist or 2 th ceiling
curly strate short or long
love herrr
in the evening or
early in th mourn
her teeth her trix
her her hur hurtz….
lipstik trax
on cocktail glasses smokes
cheex or smeared
across a face
lover mother dotter sister
love her
ATE BALL
I pick up the magic 8 ball and decide
to get down to some serious shit
Let’s get to the crux of it!!
Will I be famouse?,,,,,
I roll the ball my fingers
shaking…..
“YES DEFINITELY”
Will I have much money?,,,,
I turn it over and try again?...
“VERY DOUBTFUL”
Will I have good love?...
(Whatever that is…)
“OUTLOOK NOT SO GOOD”
Will I live to be older than 30?
“YOU MAY RELY ON IT”
loox like more years of insane
poverty
Will I die?........
I decide to test this black liquid
filled soothsaying poolball:
“CANNOT PREDICT NOW”
C’mon you piece of shit
you don’t know the truth do you?...
“IT IS DECIDELY SO”
I grab the 8-Ball with my right
hand and barrel it into the wall
showering ink and truth
from the ceiling to the floor…
2nd Ending: Later I pick up the
ball again and ask it if it’s
full of shit
“YOU MAY RELY ON IT”
FINE’
4 BABIES ARE BEING BORN IN THE
PEOPLE’S REPUBLIC OF CHINA DURING
THE TIME IT TAKES TO READ THIS
12345678910 11
4 BABIES ARE BEING BORN IN THE
PEOPLE’S REPUBLIC OF CHINA DURING
THE TIME IT TAKES TO READ THIS
Though Mao never saw what
Andy did to his face
4 BABIES ARE BEING BORN IN THE
PEOPLE’S REPUBLIC OF CHINA DURING
THE TIME IT TAKES TO READ THIS
The Chinese government asked
all citizens to kill 10 flys a day
4 BABIES ARE BEING BORN IN THE
PEOPLE’S REPUBLIC OF CHINA DURING
THE TIME IT TAKES TO READ THIS
Whether your’e waitin at a stop light
or stuck in a line somewhere
4 BABIES ARE BEING BORN IN THE
PEOPLE’S REPUBLIC OF CHINA DURING
THE TIME IT TAKES TO READ THIS
4 couples are makin love
in grass huts in the blak
4 BABIES ARE BEING BORN IN THE
PEOPLE’S REPUBLIC OF CHINA DURING
THE TIME IT TAKES TO READ THIS
Though you may feel great sick
or nothing at all
4 BABIES ARE BEING BORN IN THE
PEOPLE’S REPUBLIC OF CHINA DURING
THE TIME IT TAKES TO READ THIS
Even if they laid off a million
people at the factory assembly line
4 BABIES ARE BEING BORN IN THE
PEOPLE’S REPUBLIC OF CHINA DURING
THE TIME IT TAKES TO READ THIS
The sun rises
The moon is gone
4 babies are bein born in the
Peoples Republic of China
During
During the
During the time
During the time the time time
it
it takes
it takes to
it takes to read
takes to read to read read
this
this statement
this statement this statement statement
4 Babies
8 Babies
16 Babies
are
are being
are being born
are being born born being born
in
in the
in the Peoples
in the Peoples the Peoples Peoples
Republic
Republic of
Republic of China
Republic of China of China China
64 babies have been born in the
P.R. of C.
and 4 more are right behind ‘em
give or take a few moments or babies
LOVE POEM
I loved her
I loved her too much
she loved me
she started seeing other people
she loved me she loved me
I started seeing other people
I loved her I loved hur
I cot her with he/she
she didn’t catch me with she
I loved her she loved me
she kicked me out
I left
I wanted her back
she took me she kicked me out
we loved each other
she kicked me out
she loved me
I loved her
I saw her she saw he
I loved her I loved her
she didn’t want me i wanted hir
she wanted me i didn’t want her
she left I want her
she left I want hur
I loved her I love hur
TOOTH ACHEING
I rot and die one thousand times
Every atom of body shakes and shimmers
in agonies cliché’s
it’s the tooth..the tooth..
God loves you like a father
loves his children
My father lives over a thousand miles
away…Laid there all night long
prayin someone would kik my
door down and shoot me
No Mercy at Mercy Hospital
I rot and die one more time.
heard about murder
was four
it happened down the street somewhere
some guy got stabbed
dint know that happened
Findin out that Santa was a big scam
when your’e a kid of
my friend gettin killed in the fourth grade
never forgot her face
mother catchin me plain
with myself on the toilet
ten tellin me your’e too old for that
Eleven riding in grandpa’s car
with Uncle Dale
Dale telling me
that when he grows up
he wants to have a green house
with a green car
he was forty three then
twelve mother
telling me to get into the car
she had a forty five some bullets
she drove to a bar
a couple miles from home
took the gun in
came out with dad
heard about JFK
getting killed in the 2nd grade
some buck toothed kid
outside the classroom
Yea he got shot in the teeth
through the neck
goin home after school and
no cartoons for an entire day
This must be serious I thought
the immortal image of Ruby
the cowboys bringin Lee Harvey down
the alley and Jack shootin Lee
on LIVE teevee
twelve and a half
father telling me
he’d kill me
if he found out I was queer
didn’t know what queer was
didn’t know what penis was for
besides pissin out of
a guy holdin a sawed off shotgun
in our face
telling us he could blow us away
we believed him
had him arrested
got subpoenaed down to the D.A.’s
he told us, “You know it really
makes a difference how you dress”
I told him that that
was just icing on the cake
and had nothing to do
with the truth and
wouldn’t be satisfied
unless they cut off his trigger finger
he said they had already
made their decision
and that Ornestes G. Cabellero
is training to be a cop
here in town
ready to serve you
whenever you might need him..
I left slamming the door
on the way out
twenty five years old
and my mother finally
tells me who her real father was.
the stupidest man in the world spoke
and it didn’t even matter
what he said at all
it was in his teeth and eyes
more powerful than anything
he could have ever said
numberz
Born in a moment
on a numbered day
got an address
a social security number
have a number of lovers and haters
a telephone number
got a number of brothers and sisters
eat a number of times every day
every month
every year
get a license number
travel a number of miles
read a number of boox
learn a number of things
forget just as much
you write chex or
deal with amounts of cash
walk a number of steps
say a number of words
do a number of good and bad things
collect a number of
other’s people’s numbers
who keep getting
num
numb
number threw time
in a whirled numbered
4 yore convenience and mine
SOME DRAWINGS FROM THE BOOK
Photo by James Woodson, 1982
Riding up the Pacific Coast with the guys around 2000... some real poetry there...
